Monday, June 26, 2006

On to Serious Matters...

Since my last few posts have been about trivial matters I thought it might be time to offer my thoughts on something a little more important: who is the better superhero, Superman or Batman? Like all of the most important debates in the world this one has been going on for a very long time. There are strongly held opinions on both sides and I know that emotions run deep. I want to ensure my readers that though I offer my opinion on this issue, I realize that it is merely that...an opinion. For those of you who disagree, I hope that my words here do not create an insurmountable obstacle and that we might still engage in discussion on other less sensitive issues like religion and politics.

And now, to business. I will offer five simple reasons why Batman is a preferable superhero to Superman.

1. Superman is too perfect. He's bullet-proof, he can fly, he has super strength and super speed. I don't understand why this guy ever looses any fight. His only weakness is kryptonite, a glowing green extra-terrestrial rock.
2. Which brings us to our second point. If this was your only weakness, wouldn't you pay a little more attention to it? Maybe develop some kind of technology that would detect kryptonite from a distance, like a kryptonite Geiger counter. This leads me to believe that Superman isn't really all that bright. All brawn...
3. But what of Batman you say? Batman's greatest single quality is his incredible will. This simple man, with no supernatural powers at all, trains himself to combat evil. He is powerful because he is driven.
4. Batman is a little nuts. Some people might list this as a negative point, but I think it's one of the most interesting things about him. Bruce Wayne/Batman is, deep down, kind of psycho. Witnessing his parent's death at such a young age and growing up with a perverse guilt that he was responsible for this tragedy has created a dark and fascinating aspect to this hero's personality. At the end of the day I think it's fantastic that as readers it's not always easy for us to tell who is the good guy and who is the bad guy in Batman stories.
5. My fifth and final point is that Bruce Wayne/Batman is brilliant. Yes he's strong, yes he has money, yes he has determination, but it's his brains that usually save him. Where Superman uses his superpowers, Batman uses his head. The moral of the story? Nobody can actually leap tall buildings in a single bound, so stay in school kids.

And there we have it, why Batman is a better superhero than Superman. Again I hope that this does not cause any serious rifts between me and my readers, and I also hope that I do not create painful clashes between family members or longtime friends over this issue. If any of these terrible things do occur, please forgive me but know that on this most vital of issues I felt that it was particularly important that I speak my mind.

3 comments:

Senor Cheeseburger said...

I agree.

Batman can and has kicked Supermans ass more than once. He's a friggin billionaire, mix up some friggin kryptonite in a lab, fashion it into a decorative ring or necklace, put it on, walk up to SS kick him in the balls and jump on his throat. Problem solved.

SS is also vulnerable to magic though... so you could hire David Blaine to hold his breath for 9 minutes... I think SS's head would blow up or something... I'm not quite sure how it works...

Cheers!
www.supersexypictures.blogspot.com

the Doug said...

You speak of the two superheroes... what of Spiderman?!?! How can any serious discussion of superheroes miss spidey?

Disappointed...
j/k

Colin Toffelmire said...

Sigh...what you say is true my friend. My neglect of the webbed-wonder is primarily due to the fact that I'm not sure if I could decide between him and Batman. He, like the caped crusader, is intelligent, resourceful, driven and even subject to the demons of a guilt ridden past (the death of his uncle of course). The only place where I think Batman once again shines forth is the fact that he is a humble human being, not a man transformed by radioactivity (or genetic mutation if you prefer the recent movie versions) into a super-human. Plus Batman is way more psycho, which I still think kicks ass!